Search Engine Shenanigans

Ohmygosh so — get this:  I’ve officially had this blog for four years.

Four. Freaking. Years.

Crazy, right?

I started Peas and Crayons in May of 2008 and then promptly had my ass handed to me by life. Life was like, “Hello old friend, you look like you could use a full plate. Here’s a big pile of crazy to tide you over for the year!”  By the time I got around to writing my first post, it was already August of the following year. Now, as we’re kicking summer 2012 into gear, I thought it would be fun to look back at some of the wacky search engine queries that brought some of you weirdos here. Enjoy!

“I can’t digest peas” i’m sorry.

“chocolate crayons” i wish! though then i’d eat my crayons.

“stupid tuna” my tuna reads at a 12th grade level. lay off.

“I’m on a diet can I eat nachos?”  yes. yes you can.

“is baby barf green a color?” absolutely.

“salmon glue” i just threw up in my mouth.

“am i allergic to crayons?” you wouldn’t have survived kindergarten.

“it’s so fluffy i’m gonna die!” haha yes!!!

happy birthday hope you are partying” i’m always partying.

does pizza grow on trees paul?” why are you asking Paul?  he over-waters my plants!

“put more ahhh in your fiesta” that’s not where you should be putting your ahhh

“can ferrets have peas?” i have no idea.

“man and vodka” i’ll have one of each, please.

“balls” we all know why this leads back to me. [case. in. point.]

“dog likes to sleep in my closet” relax, he’s just keeping an eye on the monsters.

“edward four loko hands” been there. done that. 
promise me you’ll never follow in my footsteps by partaking in this. ever.

If you’re in the market for a few more laughs, 
check out Search Engine Shenanigans [Part II] and [Part III]

What’s the funniest search engine term that has lead back to your blog?

I know you guys have some good ones!

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  • bahahahahaha put more ahhhhhhh in your fiesta!!! that’s a great one to bring someone to peas & crayons :D.

  • “i can has cheeseburger friends” – i have literally no idea why. i don’t think i’ve written cheeseburger ever on the blog.

    also “zombie boyfriend that i love” – ok i definitely have all those words somewhere on the blog.

    my fave from yours is: “it’s so fluffy i’m gonna die!” haha yes!!!

  • ok well now my goal in life is to make you pee your pants. its happening

  • Oh-emm-geeeee! I’m seriously about to pee my pants over that last one! Thanks for the laugh doll-face! And so so happy the “fluffiness” was represented! 😉

  • Oh my goodness, that just made my night! I must do a post like this and see what goodie searches I have!

  • bahahahaha! I’m sure we could bounce a quarter off your butt! hehe rock on!

  • Hilarious!! Mine is “Saggy butt after having children”. I have 3 kids, but no saggy butt here!

  • Crazy right?! If you sign up for google analytics you can find out the search engine queries that lead to your blog. Blogger has it built in and I think WordPress might too!

  • Hahaha! I’m too new to even know where to find this info, but your post cracked me up! A lot of the others made me giggle too…especially the vagina one…? wow!

  • bahahahahahahaha!!!!!! Ohmygosh that is the BEST!

  • So funny! 

    Someone searched Google for this: Adrian Grenier has a hairy butt. 
    Umm … what??!!

  • You’re so funny! I love the search engine finds! They make me laugh so hard. Except for the one I got today. I’m just confused by it, “
    “my capris” mud or muddy or puddle.” Maybe I’m jus not hip enough to get it…

    Happy Bleated 4th year blogiversary!!! xoxo! 

  • Jennie (the gf-gf)

    Someone found me by searching “can I use a jelly bean for bait?” haha, I really wish I knew the answer!

  • Michelle @ Blogitness

    It’s a toss up amongst “I can’t walk without tripping over my own two feet,” “Accident waiting to happen,” “Why do I injury myself so much?”

  • Brianne Izzo

    I have a few people who found my site by searching “Black Mexican”.  I need to check out what I’ve gotten recently.

  • Thank Anna!!!! Congrats on the approaching 1 yr celebration!! <3 I still feel like a newbie — I dont think that feeling ever goes away! lol

  • Thank Anna!!!! Congrats on the approaching 1 yr celebration!! <3 I still feel like a newbie — I dont think that feeling ever goes away! lol

  • Congrats! 4 years is amazing! I’m only just about to come up to my one year, so I am in awe of you. It always cracks me up to look through the search engine referral terms on my blog too. so random right!

  • BAHAHAHA! Either google is trying to tell you you’re accident prone or your readers are really, really clumsy =)

    love it!

  • Have you tried it? =) #glorious

  • I once got a hit from “I like to run in my underwear.”

  • aww thanks chickadee@ <3 Happy Monday! xo

  • You’re right. I DO love balls.

  • Dooooo it! Then let me know! =) I get a kick out of them!

  • Marisa@TheCollegeCuisiner

    This made my day, as you do often. I know I have had good ones but the only one I remember is crazy tomato. Why?

  • Bwahahaahaaa!!!! I just laughed out loud so loud that I scared my cats! Ha! Hysterical! I’ve going to have to check out my terms and get back to you. I hope they are as funny as yours!

  • Sabrina Jackson

    HAHA!!!! These are hilarious!

  • Helennaturally

    Oh wow, those are hilarious!  I haven’t checked lately to see what terms have lead back to the blog.  I will have to do that today 🙂

  • Why do people search the most random things! Jenn, those are all so funny. I am sure you will continue to get many more hits from balls because we all know you love them. Amazing! Thanks for the laugh girl.

  • None that are as laugh-out-loud hilarious as yours, but a few standouts:

    lişberti mayo (wth is that?)
    boost special treats 14g (again…wth is that? also, I have nothing like this on my blog)
    what does dave zinczenko eat a day? (I…don’t know…sorry.)
    coq au vin failures (womp. Actually, the only coq au vin I have on my site is in a restaurant review and it was certainly NOT a fail!)

  • That is awesome!! I haven’t really paid enough attention to start my collection of funny search terms, but I might have to start now. 🙂 Happy 4 years!

  • cragsandveggies

    Congrats girl, what an accomplishment! I love “man and vodka” and “chocolate crayons”

  • cragsandveggies

    Congrats girl, what an accomplishment! I love “man and vodka” and “chocolate crayons”

  • Paul “over waters your plants”?? Is that what they’re calling it now???

  • Nichole @ Life as a Newlywed

    Hahaha, don’t you wonder sometimes HOW some of these searches happen?!

  • Alisha @ Pink Spatulas

    I was LOL-ing in real life! Too funny 🙂

  • Kim Cashin

    LOL..thank you for the laugh.  Those all!  🙂

  • blogger and google analytics =) blogger has it built in to my blog and then googel analytics you can use for any website! It’s fun to look through them everyso often!

  • One that I got today was 
    complement of red and blue for cakeUmm..white?  😛

  • bahahahah HILARIOUS. These–and your responses–made me giggle big time. IT’S SO FLUFFYYYYYY.  
    I’m definitely going to start taking note of my search engine terms. A current one I see: ” overnight oats “1/4 cup milk” ” …  Guess someone wanted to know how, and had EXACTLY 1/4 cup. Not so funny, but imma start saving good ones! 

  • Ha ha ha! I didn’t even know you could find that out!

  • haha that makes tooootal sense then! oh man!

  • bahahahaha those are fantastic!

  • Hilarious!  And at the risk of sounding like a blogger-dummy, how do you know that these searches lead to you??

  • It’s probably because I mentioned a bachelorette/sex toy party once, but still weird!!

  • omigod this is absolutely fantastic! I love this stuff.
    Here are a few of mine I laughed at:
    “who discovered the cashew?”
    “why am I craving kale”
    “hot rock meat”
    …I don’t understand people sometimes

  • Jean @ Flower Hill

    This had me laughing!  Too cute!

  • bahahaha I remember that!!!! omg makes zero sense but then again…. we know you love timmy’s feet

  • OMG WTF!? That’s crazy!

  • haha yay! mission accomplished!

  • Hahahaha I LOVE it!!  I’ve written about my wackiest search engine term before … it was (and still is) Tim Tebow’s feet.  Not Tim Tebow.  But Tim Tebow’s feet!  Huh??

  • Jessica Wallace

    Oh my, I was laughing out loud through all of these!  Hilarious 🙂

  • LOL you are hilarious. I don’t have too many funny things that bring people to my site, and I’m kinda jealous. 🙂

  • I get a few hits every week from someone googling “fake vagina” or “homemade fake vagina.” Um, far as I know, I don’t have a recipe for that anywhere on my blog… 

  • haha my pleasure =)