Search Engine Shenanigans [part II]

I couldn’t resist the pull of writing a sequel to my beloved Search Engine Shenanigans post.  The crap people google is hil. ar. i. ous.  And the things people Google and wind up on this blog?  Downright bizarre.

“hey girl” hey girl hayyyyy!!!

“I deserve a medal for not stabbing someone with a fork today” Ohmygosh! I do!

“keep calm and eat”  …Your vegetables.  Please and thank you.

“pink glitter” …makes me feel fancy.

“ferret haircut”  Bullet the ferret looks especially dapper with a mohawk.

“vodka” Yes please!

“peas and…” littering and… littering and…

“I think I like you” Why thank you!  I like you too!

“sad coffee cup” no. such. thing.

“cat in a predicament”  My cat’s only predicament… is that she’s an asshole.

“organizing bras” & “dirty bra”  aka what happens when you post a photo of your bra drawer on ze interwebs *shrugs*

“girl running from bear” Considering I call Paul Bear + Bullet baby bear, I’m always running from bears!  Just call me Goldilocks!

“bed of shame” Um, I’m not touching that one with a 10 foot pole [TWSS!]

“how to make balls” Oh if you could see the smile on my face right now

“eat me said the pea”  It’s true, it did say that.  All veggies, in fact, request to be eaten =)

I’ll be back super soon with some of these:
Cookie Dough Ball
a little of this:
Cheese Grits
and a whole lot of these:
Homemade Veggie Burgers
If you’re in need another laugh or two, here’s Search Engine Shenanigans [Part I] and [Part III] with plenty more search engine antics.
More to come.  Always!
What’s the most random search engine query you’ve come across?  Spill it!

Comments

  1. says

    Nom nom. Those all look so tasty. Random Q – what kind of camera do you use? Was it expensive? I feel I need to take better quality pics on my blog.

    I just had a look at what keywords have brought people to my blog and found this – indian hot party girl ass curve – WTF?

  2. says

    Can’t wait for the recipes!

    My favorite search engine amusements from the past 24 hours include, “fooood eaten during period,” “craving bacon means,” and “how to make artificial vagina.” And no, I do not have a recipe for that last one.

  3. says

    I love looking at random search engine terms that brought people to my blog…people look for weird stuff on the internet!

    little concerning as to what someone was looking for with “bed of shame”!

    Best search on the blog from yesterday: “I’ve got flour chicken and eggs…I need lunch.”

  4. says

    Haha I love looking at my search query stats. Definitely always good for a laugh. some of my faves have been “when I drink coffee i always pass out” – umm please see a doctor… “can you improve your breath with acidic juice” -I don’t know and that just sounds wrong. haha No wonder self diagnosing is frowned upon if you end up on a blog mostly about baking, books, and makeup!!

  5. says

    Mine has to be “naked jane cat yoga”. I did a blog entry about half nekkid or full nekkid yoga (more a plug to another blogger) and BAM all these “jane naked yoga” searches…. Maybe they just want my cat to do naked yoga…

  6. says

    I’ve never gotten any really crazy ones, but my friend had a post called “Fuck Pandas” (about her deep hatred of pandas) and got a search for “a fuck panda”. Then, a minute later, she got another for “no, a single fuck panda”. We laughed/were horrified about that for about 10 minutes.

  7. JennJennB says

    Totally random (that’s how my brain works) but I just wanted to say I FINALLY got around to making the lentil veggie tacos yesterday for lunch = YUM!

  8. says

    My favorites are:

    “name of race from dentastix”
    “fun fries”
    “pull up your big girl panties and deal with it”
    “you’re the friend i’d feel worse about killing in a”

    So many other good ones, but too many to choose. Haha

  9. says

    My favorite was “Mom, Is It Ladylike to Burpee?” 2nd favorite was “Why Don’t Tomatoes Taste Like Strawberries?” ummm, I dunno, maybe because they’re TOMATOES and not STRAWBERRIES!! Love this, thanks for the laugh!

  10. says

    I absolutely love looking at my stats and seeing what people entered in the search engine to get to me. It’s hilarious!

    I love that BALLS came up! And I’m excited to see those chocolate chip balls ;)

  11. says

    This is hilarious! There is a book that I’ve seen at Urban Outfitters titled something like “Google This” and has the most random searches- some are hilarious and some are rather sketchy to say the least :P Can’t wait to see the recipe recaps, YUM!

  12. says

    I used the word “nude” once in a headline and have gotten the following searches recently: nude rappelling, nude rocket, cat nude pose, nude on the beats, william shatner nude photography, nude whitewater…. Who knew that people use the Internet to find nude things?

  13. says

    Hahaha! Aww, don’t be mean to Maddy…or she’ll pee on your pillow! ;)

    I haven’t gotten many funny ones lately…most people just misspell broccoli…but I did get “ugli tree fruit” the other day. And no, I don’t only cater to readers who are bad spellers…it’s from a loooooooooong time ago when I tried my first ugli fruit! :D

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