|“Dear 8 pound 6 ounce… new born infant baby jesus…” Thank you for skype!
Dear muffinass, shave that disgusting ‘stache!
Those of you that have been reading my blog for a while [I love your faces off!] have probably noticed that my posts have progressively been getting a bit more angsty… more sarcastic… more colorful even. The longer I exist without my husband, the closer I get to impending insanity. This might explain the countless ball jokes, the stories of pantslessness, and the overall inappropriateness that is carefully woven in between recipes and my standard post shenanigans. I’d apologize… but I have a feeling that if you’re still reading, you kind of love it.
Here are a few of my favorites:
Number of nights I decided wine and chocolate were an acceptable dinner 2
Number of toes broken 1
Number of obscenities screamed when the aforementioned toe broke 8
Number of new batteries I’ve had to put in that damn smoke alarm 3
Number of classes I’ve taken at the gym 130+ [in 8 months]
Number of books read 100+
Number of times I dyed my hair b/c of those stupid silver strands 3
Number of times I swore I would never make it through this without a straight jacket 20
Number of times I was wrong every. single. time. 🙂