Search Engine Shenanigans

Ohmygosh so — get this:  I’ve officially had this blog for four years. Four. Freaking. Years. Crazy, right? I started Peas and Crayons in May of 2008 and then promptly had my ass handed to me by life. Life was like, “Hello old friend, you look like you could use a full plate. Here’s a big pile of crazy to tide you over for the year!”  By the time I got around to writing my first post, it was already August of the following year. Now, as we’re kicking summer 2012 into gear, I thought it would be fun to look back at some of the wacky search engine queries that brought some of you weirdos here. Enjoy!

Search Engine Shenanigans: Falling Down the Google Rabbit Hole

“i can’t digest peas” i’m sorry.

“chocolate crayons” i wish! though then i’d eat my crayons.

“stupid tuna” my tuna reads at a 12th grade level. lay off.

“i’m on a diet can i eat nachos?”  yes. yes you can.

“is baby barf green a color?” absolutely.

“salmon glue” i just threw up in my mouth.

“am i allergic to crayons?” you wouldn’t have survived kindergarten.

“it’s so fluffy i’m gonna die!” haha yes!!!

happy birthday hope you are partying” i’m always partying.

does pizza grow on trees paul?” why are you asking Paul?  he over-waters my plants!

“put more ahhh in your fiesta” that’s not where you should be putting your ahhh

“can ferrets have peas?” i have no idea.

“man and vodka” i’ll have one of each, please.

“balls” we all know why this leads back to me. [case. in. point.]

“dog likes to sleep in my closet” relax, he’s just keeping an eye on the monsters.

“edward four loko hands” been there. done that. 
promise me you’ll never follow in my footsteps by partaking in this. ever.

and lastly:

“stroke the furry wall” 

When Life Slips You a Jeffrey, Stroke the Furry Wall
oh, Paul…

If you’re in the market for a few more laughs, 
check out Search Engine Shenanigans [Part II] and [Part III]

What’s the funniest search engine term that has lead back to your blog?

I know you guys have some good ones!


  1. says

    I get a few hits every week from someone googling “fake vagina” or “homemade fake vagina.” Um, far as I know, I don’t have a recipe for that anywhere on my blog… 

  2. says

    omigod this is absolutely fantastic! I love this stuff.
    Here are a few of mine I laughed at:
    “who discovered the cashew?”
    “why am I craving kale”
    “hot rock meat”
    …I don’t understand people sometimes

  3. says

    bahahahah HILARIOUS. These–and your responses–made me giggle big time. IT’S SO FLUFFYYYYYY.  
    I’m definitely going to start taking note of my search engine terms. A current one I see: ” overnight oats “1/4 cup milk” ” …  Guess someone wanted to know how, and had EXACTLY 1/4 cup. Not so funny, but imma start saving good ones! 

  4. says

    None that are as laugh-out-loud hilarious as yours, but a few standouts:

    lişberti mayo (wth is that?)
    boost special treats 14g (again…wth is that? also, I have nothing like this on my blog)
    what does dave zinczenko eat a day? (I…don’t know…sorry.)
    coq au vin failures (womp. Actually, the only coq au vin I have on my site is in a restaurant review and it was certainly NOT a fail!)

  5. says

    Why do people search the most random things! Jenn, those are all so funny. I am sure you will continue to get many more hits from balls because we all know you love them. Amazing! Thanks for the laugh girl.

  6. Helennaturally says

    Oh wow, those are hilarious!  I haven’t checked lately to see what terms have lead back to the blog.  I will have to do that today :)

  7. says

    Bwahahaahaaa!!!! I just laughed out loud so loud that I scared my cats! Ha! Hysterical! I’ve going to have to check out my terms and get back to you. I hope they are as funny as yours!

  8. Marisa@TheCollegeCuisiner says

    This made my day, as you do often. I know I have had good ones but the only one I remember is crazy tomato. Why?

  9. Brianne Izzo says

    I have a few people who found my site by searching “Black Mexican”.  I need to check out what I’ve gotten recently.

  10. Jennie (the gf-gf) says

    Someone found me by searching “can I use a jelly bean for bait?” haha, I really wish I knew the answer!

  11. says

    You’re so funny! I love the search engine finds! They make me laugh so hard. Except for the one I got today. I’m just confused by it, “
    “my capris” mud or muddy or puddle.” Maybe I’m jus not hip enough to get it…

    Happy Bleated 4th year blogiversary!!! xoxo! 

  12. says

    Hahaha! I’m too new to even know where to find this info, but your post cracked me up! A lot of the others made me giggle too…especially the vagina one…? wow!

  13. says

    “i can has cheeseburger friends” – i have literally no idea why. i don’t think i’ve written cheeseburger ever on the blog.

    also “zombie boyfriend that i love” – ok i definitely have all those words somewhere on the blog.

    my fave from yours is: “it’s so fluffy i’m gonna die!” haha yes!!!

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